Sakura Night
by Youngsoul
Summary: They walked through a garden of blooming cherry blossoms and suddenly, Goku remembered it all. Oneshot. Spoilers from Saiyuki Gaiden.


**This is my first Saiyuki story.**  
><strong>I don't have much to say about this, just that it pretty much wrote itself. I apologize for any mistakes.<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki**

**Enjoy.**

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><p>The strong wind of the day had calmed into a gentle spring breeze once night fell. There was a brilliant full moon shining in the already darkened sky, decorated with the countless stars surrounding it. The Sanzo party sat in their jeep, making their way towards the next town in their road to west. None of them was really fond of the idea of camping outside and since they weren't feeling tired due to the bright night, they had decided to keep driving.<br>They all were unnaturally silent, as if each of them had suddenly gone to a space of their own and forgotten about the existence of others.  
>It was Hakkai who first noticed the cherry trees and woke from his stupor.<p>

"Gojyo, do you still have that sake left?" the brunette asked from the red-haired man sitting in the backseat. Woken from his thoughts, the redhead sat up a little straighter to answer. "Yeah, I think there's still around half of it in the back."

"Is that so?" Hakkai asked good-naturely. "Then how about we stop for some cherry-blossom viewing? I think I see a full garden of them ahead," he asked and smiled a bit wider than usual. His sentence caught Goku's attention and soon the boy had leaned in the middle of Sanzo and Hakkai to see ahead. "Wow! You're right!" the boy exclaimed and leaned forward even further. His actions caused Sanzo to get annoyed and so he was soon pushed back roughly by the blonde.

"Sit still, you idiot monkey!"

"Who are you calling a monkey?!" Goku asked in anger, but Hakkai was quick to call of the bickering.

"Now, now, since we have such a rare chance... how about it, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked.

The blonde could feel a pair of golden eyes staring in the back of his head with clear anticipation. It was annoying to say the least. The priest sighed. "Only until we finish the sake. We need to keep moving."

"Awesome!" Goku cheered in the back.

They drove towards the area filled with the cherry trees and stopped to stare at them in awe. They were all in full bloom and to say they were gorgeous as they were illuminated with the moonlight would have been an understatement. They looked as if they didn't even belong in their world.

"Wow...!" Goku breathed as they got out of the jeep and walked closer to the natural garden.

"I have never seen anything like this before," Hakkai agreed as the party started strolling through the seemingly never-ending line of cherry trees.

Gojyo whistled in admiration as he walked to one tree and knocked its bark. "It's nice to see cherry trees in a place like this."

Sanzo seemed to deem a big tree as suitable as he sat on the grass under its branches. He let his posture relax before pulling out his lighter and lighting his cigarette. "Bring the sake," he then ordered and motioned Gojyo to come closer with his hand.

The red-haired man clicked his tongue in annoyance but approached the blonde priest nevertheless. "Got it, your holiness, " he said with sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Hakkai smiled at the two and walked closer to them while gently petting the dragon on his shoulder. He stopped when he realized that one of their members was no joining them. He turned to look at the young demon. "Goku?" The boy's eyes were wide and could almost be described as frightened. He had stopped in the middle of the clearing and was looking at the cherry trees, his figure tense.

Now even Sanzo and Gojyo had noticed his weird actions. "Oi, what's wrong, monkey?" the red-head asked in surprise as he looked at his younger companion. He didn't receive an answer.

Goku was too overwhelmed to even hear Gojyo's words. Everything around him reminded him about something... something important. Something he should remember but he also couldn't deny the horrible feeling that accompanied that thought. There was something...but what? The feeling was so strong he couldn't focus on anything else but it. Like a tidal wave, the feeling made him deaf to the world around him and took his breath away. He couldn't hear his companions calling his name or see their worried gazes. The only thing he could see was..  
>...The cherry blossoms. And just as he once again lifted his head up to see the pink flowers, a gust of wind caused some of the frail flowers to scatter into the wind and that moment, he heard it.<p>

_"-the next time, we'll definitely meet again below a cherry tree in the lower world!"_

Goku froze. He knew that voice. It was just like Sanzo's... but different. He hadn't said those words. They came from inside his head, from his memories. Goku put his hands over his ears in fright. What was going on?  
>By this time, Hakkai had walked to the silent boy and extended his hand out to touch him. "Goku, what's wrong?" he asked, but Goku couldn't hear his words. Instead, when his hand landed on the boy's shoulder, Goku's eyes shot open even wider than before and he jumped back from Hakkai. When Goku could once again see his companions, his brain seemed to trick him. There weren't Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai anymore. Three other men appeared in their bodies. Three different faces which Goku somehow knew. Seeing those faces caused a huge pain to appear in his chest, scaring him breathless.<p>

"No...no," Goku almost whispered, holding his hands to his head tighter. There was suddenly another tidal wave of feelings, painful ones, attacking him along with the kind words.

_"Don't worry, Goku. We'll always be by your side."_

Goku didn't want to listen anymore. It hurt too much! But when he tried to blink away the strange hallucination in front of him, it didn't work. They were all there, staring at him. He knew them all, he could feel it, but he didn't know from where or what their names where. However, every time he met eyes with them, he felt like he came closer to knowing and it caused even more painful waves inside of his head and chest. He didn't like it. At all.  
>"<strong>No<strong>!" the boy suddenly shouted, closing his eyes tightly and running away from the now-startled three men. He couldn't hear their worried shouts as his hands were still held tightly over his ears. He just kept running. Unfortunately, it did little to ease the painful voices inside his head.

_"At that time, the one who held out his hand first was you. Right, Goku?"_  
><em>"No matter what happens from now on, I can't let go of those hands."<em>

_"As long as I'm with everyone, I don't care where I go. As long as I'm with everyone...because I love all of you. That 's why I want to stay together."_

_"Now, it's a promise! This here is called a pinky swear, a seal of promise."_

_"Don't worry, Goku. We'll always be by your side."_

_"We'll aim for the lower world. In the worst case, we might have to live separately. However, even then, the next time, we'll definitely meet again below a cherry tree in the lower world!"_

_"Oh, so my name's Goku? Hey, hey, what does it mean?! What does it mean?"_

_"Listen, Goku. Don't give up. If you believe in Kenren and Tempou, then don't give up on them nor yourself. We made a promise, didn't we?"_

_"At that time, the one who held out his hand first was you. Right, Goku? The next time I'll make sure that I'll stretch out my hand to you first... I promise I'll stretch it out for you."_

_"Aah, after all... you really are like the sun."_

The voices attacked him over and over again, bringing tears to his eyes that soon spilled to his cheeks as he kept running.

"Just stop it already!" Goku shouted into the empty forest of cherry trees. He only ran a few steps after that before he tripped over a root and fell. He sobbed on the ground for a long while, not wanting to move. He didn't want to remember. Whatever memories they were, if they brought so much pain with them, he didn't want to remember. Nothing could be worth it.  
>Finally, the voices seemed to quiet. They were still in the back of Goku's head, but they were only whispers that he could block out.<br>He calmed his racing heart and turned around.  
>He stared at the cherry blossoms above him and was fascinated with they way they swayed it the wind. He could still feel how they wanted to remind him of something. Something important.<br>A voice once again appeared, but it was much less painful this time.

_"Hey, Goku, wanna do some tree-climbing?"_

_"Yeah! Let's race to the top!"_ he could hear himself answering. A picture of a tall man appeared in his head, the one he had seen appearing in Gojyo's body just a while ago. Though he reminded Goku of his red-haired friend, this man's smile was just a little more kind than his.  
>Goku found himself smiling.<br>Suddenly, there was a deeper voice.

_"Oi, be careful."_ Goku frowned. The man sounded just like Sanzo (though this voice sounded much more concerned about him than Sanzo had ever sounded), but he knew that that he had been different from the priest. Even though his hair had been golden like Sanzo's, that man's hair had been much longer.

_"If you fall, we'll laugh at you, drunkard!"_ a new voice then added, his tone light and almost sounding like he was laughing already. Goku knew this man too. He was much like Hakkai, but still so very much different.  
>Goku closed his eyes for a moment and listened.<p>

_"Well, compared to these cherry blossoms, the ones in the lower world are way much prettier,"_ the black-haired Gojyou-look-alike stated as he sat on his branch.

_"Aren't they the same cherry blossoms?"_ the blonde asked from below, his voice sounding slightly curious under his serious and uninterested tone.

Suddenly, simply and painlessly, Goku remembered their names. He opened his eyes without knowing how hazy they had turned.

"Konzen...Ten-chan...Ken-nii..." he silently said into the wind, letting it carry those three names.

He knew them. He had been with them. Where and when, he was unsure, but they had definitely been close. Feeling strange, Goku got up to his feet and stared up at the cherry tree he stood under. Like a feeling of nostalgia, or perhaps his past self taking over his mind, he decided to climb the tree.  
>He soon stood on one branch and held onto another above him as he stared far ahead into the strange garden of cherry trees. He found himself trying to remember more about the three men that had once been in his life. He realized that the memories where from before he was locked up in that mountain. So... from over five hundred years ago.<br>Why did he feel so nice when he thought about their warm smiles? And what was the painful feeling that tugged his heart when he tried to remember?  
>There was another wave of feelings, but this time, no matter how painful, Goku let it wash over him, closing his eyes to focus on it.<p>

And just like that, he remembered.

His eyes shot wide open in shock and his body felt weak. He stumbled where he was and almost fell before he could rest his back against the bark of the tree and slide down to sit on the branch safely.  
>He had been right. The memories were very, very painful.<br>There was so much blood when Nataku cut himself... It was everywhere. Even though he had promised to show him all kinds of new places... he disappeared, just like that.  
>Then, Ken-nii had stayed behind.<br>After that, Ten-chan had gone too.

They both had died.

Goku couldn't help when the tears started running down his cheeks again.  
>He could still vaguely remember how Konzen had pinched his cheek and told him to trust Tenpou and Kenren. The memory caused a sob to break from him. After all, he remembered what happened next.<br>Konzen had disappeared too, right in front of his eyes, a ridiculously pretty smile on his face as he did.

_"Now, it's a promise! This here is called a pinky swear, a seal of promise."_

_"Don't worry, Goku. We'll always be by your side."_

_"No matter what happens from now on, I can't let go of those hands."_

"Liars..." Goku sobbed as he remembered their words again, clear as if he had just heard them yesterday. "**Liars!**" he cried into the night, shouting out all his pain. "You promised me! Even though you promised you wouldn't leave me...!" Goku curled into a tight ball, feeling like the small child he had once been. "...You all left me."  
>He felt his stress and sadness gathering inside of him in a painful way, threatening to spill. He knew what it meant if they would spill and so he hugged himself tightly and tried to calm himself. He didn't want to lose control. He didn't want to become a monster.<p>

He tried to forget everything, but it just seemed impossible. Every time he could make a memory less vivid, another appeared even more strongly. He knew he was losing the battle. His power limiter felt tight and burning hot as it tried to keep his uncontrollable powers sealed.  
>Finally, Goku decided to feel numb. Just like when he had been in that mountain, not knowing anyone and just endlessly waiting for something... someone, until his brain had just shut itself off. Yes, that emptyness...<p>

Goku went still as a rock. He didn't move for a very long time after that. It was only when a voice called out for him that he felt like he had woken from a dream.

"So this is where you were, you idiot monkey." It was Sanzo, Goku realized. Somehow, even his annoyed voice sounded soothing right now. Just wanting to listen to that voice again, Goku didn't move.

"I see you have finally found a fitting place for yourself, monkey-kid," Sanzo said, clearly asking for a fight. It was clear by the long silence he was confused by the lack of answer.  
>With an annoyed grunt, the blonde priest sat on the ground and lit another cigarette. After doing that, he stayed silent for a long time. "Are you thinking about useless stuff again?" he then asked, but received no answer. Goku was unable to see it, but Sanzo's face was turning increasingly more annoyed as his monologue had to go on. "Tsk, you should stop doing that, you're just going to hurt yourself."<p>

There was another long silence before Goku finally spoke. "Nee, Sanzo, why did you take me with you that time?" It was almost a whisper, but in the quiet night it reached the priest loud and clear. Both knew what time Goku was referring to.

"I've said it before, you were so loud and annoying that I had to shut you up. After that, things just happened they way they did. I didn't take you with me because I wanted to," Sanzo told, the annoyance in his voice telling how he believed in his own words.

Goku, feeling another surge of feelings running through him, stood up to stare at Sanzo's back in hurt and anger. "If you had just left me behind, if you had just never offered your hand to me, _I would never had had to remember...!_" Goku shouted until his sob broke him off. Feeling embarrassed, he lowered his head so Sanzo would not see his teary face. He could still feel how the priest's eyes were on him and he could almost see the expression he wore. It was the same serious face as usual, but there was just that tiny hint of curiosity and worry in those eyes. Oh, Goku realized, it was the same look Konzen always seemed to have. ...It didn't fit Sanzo the same way.

"You... remembered?" Sanzo then asked, the same hint of curiosity and worry in his voice as well.

Goku didn't trust his voice and so he simply nodded. Sanzo was silent for a while before he looked away from Goku again. "I see."

Neither not knowing how to continue the conversation, they fell silent.

"So, is it painful?" Sanzo then surprisingly asked, breaking the silence.

Goku was so surprised by Sanzo's question, he was unable to answer it right away. He had heard no emotion in Sanzo's voice this time, which, for a strange reason, calmed him. Then, finally able to consider his words, Goku answered honestly, "yeah. It's painful."

There was so answer from Sanzo, but Goku could hear the unsaid 'I see' in the air.

Feeling comforted by Sanzo's presence, Goku suddenly felt better. With that feeling, many good memories passed through him. "But..." he started again, this time a small smile on his lips. "-even though it's painful, I'm still glad I remembered."

Nothing else was shared about Goku's memories between the two. Nataku, Tenpou, Kenren and Konzen were no longer by his side, and they would never be there again, but Goku knew that he could still treasure the memories of them, even if some of them were still very painful.

Sanzo huffed before saying, "don't make me worried, you idiot monkey." The sentence shocked Goku so much that he suddenly lost his balance and fell from his branch. ...Landing right on top of Sanzo.

Unsurprisingly, the older man stood up angrily and punched Goku. "Why did you have to fall on me of all places? You idiot monkey!" he then shouted at the boy.  
>Instead of saying sorry, Goku's eyes flew wide open as he stared at the blonde priest. He realized that this had happened before.<p>

_"Why did you have to fall on me of all places? You idiot monkey!"_ Konzen's voice appeared in his head, confirming his feeling.

To say Sanzo was surprised about Goku suddenly starting to laugh was an understatement. "Did you lose your mind?" he asked his companion, who sat on the grass and rubbed the spot on his head Sanzo where had just hit him.

"No... I'm just kinda happy," Goku then replied and smiled.

Sanzo snorted. "You're a creepy kid. Do you want me to hit you again, then?"

Goku raised his hands up in defence. "No! Don't do that!" He had closed his eyes tightly, awaiting for the next hit to come and only opened them when he heard Sanzo's voice.

"Come on."

There it was again, Sanzo's hand. Just like it had been there all those years ago to save him from that cage. Then, there was a voice again.

_"At that time, the one who held out his hand first was you. Right, Goku? The next time I'll make sure that I'll stretch out my hand to you first... I promise I'll stretch it out for you."_

Tears appeared in the corner of Goku's eyes._ 'So this is what you meant, Konzen...'_ Goku thought as he slowly reached up to grab that hand again, looking up to Sanzo, whose hair still sparkled like the sun even in when it was illuminated by the night.

"What's with that idiotic look? Come on, I'm leaving you behind." Sanzo's harsh tone did nothing to diminish the happiness Goku felt at that moment.  
>The two made their way to the clearing where Hakkai and Gojyou waited, walking side by side just like always.<p>

The last time Goku heard a voice in his head was when he was reunited with his friends in the clearing. Seeing them all together like that below a cherry tree caused it. However, this time, it was no longer painful.

_"Aren't they the same cherry blossoms?"_ Konzen's voice stopped him on his tracks. Goku closed his eyes with a smile so he could once more relive one of the happiest moments in his life.

_"The way they bloom is different."_ Kenren had answered back then. Goku had not understood it back then, but now, opening his eyes, he did. There they were - the promised cherry trees of the lower world - right in front of his eyes.

"He was right... they are much prettier here," Goku told with a smile, causing all his companions to look at him in confusion.  
>Goku just smiled as an answer.<br>_'Yes,'_ Goku thought and looked at his friends,_ 'even if they are the same, the way the bloom here, freely and strongly, is much prettier after all.'_

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>

Also, I love Konzen, Tenpou and Kenren so much! I honestly wish their reincarnations would be a bit more like them. *sigh* Also, don't get the last sentence wrong, Goku isn't choosing his current companions over his former ones or anything like that. He just remembers how unhappy the three men where when they were in Heaven and their lives were under complete control. He is simply saying that he is happy that they can finally be together, free. But I'm sure you realized that already.

If you liked this, I would be very happy if you'd leave me a review.


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